Now, these guys have been given an article of their own because they are playable characters. They’re guys that I can’t romance, but in my humble opinion they deserve to be mentioned because, well, they’re kinda hot! And that is the basis for this part of my article…hotness…Superficiality and hot guys.
Some people may read this and think that these guys deserve a more in-depth analysis but unfortunately for them, I don’t want to analyse them, that isn’t what the piece is about. I’m simply going to appreciate them as hot gaming characters…
Nathan Drake – Uncharted series – Naughty Dog
An Indiana Jones of the modern day.
A ruggedly handsome, well-defined (OK, we never see him shirtless, I’m just taking an educated guess) every-man. Nate’s just a regular guy who gets thrown into very irregular situations and he fully recognizes the craziness of his predicaments.
The witty repartee he has with himself is like no other character I’ve played. He says exactly what’s going through my mind as he’s scaling sheer rock faces, jumping from a burning plane or being chased through the jungle by armed maniacs. His ability to humanize himself and remind us that he just a regular Joe is part of his charm, “strangers trying to kill me. Left my map on burning plane. Elena’s missing, most likely dead. That’s great. Great start Nate.”
This ability also ensures we don’t perceive him as some overconfident, cocksure jackass. His ‘human’ side shows his vulnerability and softens his self-assuredness into a roguish humor; a natural charm that, I’m sorry, NO-ONE can resist.
Another alluring trait is that he’s hilarious and always state’s the obvious. One of my favorite examples of this comes from him in the first game after he hauls himself out of an underground lagoon; “I am really wet”. Yes Nate, you really are. *sigh, if only I could dry him off…*
The fact that he is eternally the underdog, with everything working against him, appeals to me. He only ever has a slim chance of succeeding in his quests but will always keep fighting, with what are sometimes ridiculous odds against him. He never surrenders his goal and he never gives up on his allies. The amount of pain, betrayal and exhaustion he goes through doesn’t put him off. The desert scene in the third game is a great example of his blind resilience. Personally, I would’ve died in that desert, but not Nate. No way. Not while his friends were in danger, not while the bad guys were in the lead. He responds with the same bravery and boldness that I’d like to think I’d have in those situations, his actions aren’t so ‘far out’ that they’re unrealistic.
Unfortunately for Nate, he never seems to get the treasure he’s chasing, which is another reason to love him. He’ll fight tooth and nail…but sadly, never quite gets what he’s been aiming for. He does however beat the bad guys and gets the girl and that’s what the good guy does right? Did Indy ever get his treasure? Nope. But it’s all about the chase, the lure, the excitement. Nate thrives on it and I love that drive. It’s a thrilling ride and he’s the perfect driver.
So to summarize Nate Drake is easily one of the hottest guys in gaming. Because he curses at the absurdity of his surroundings “oh, crap!”; because he’s handsome but d doesn’t quite realize it; because he stands up for what he believes in; because he gets beaten but never gives up; because he’s got a wicked sense of humor Every little element of his personality come together to create one perfect man. Well done Amy Hennig, you’ve created the model man. Men want to be him and women want to be with him.
Adam Jensen – Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos Montreal
Quite simply, Adam Jensen is sexy.
The game he’s famous for however, is not so simple. But forget the complexities of the ‘pro-human v pro-augment’ politics and look at this from a completely superficial point of view and tell me he’s not hot. The air of mystery; the deep voice; the brooding good looks and long ‘Matrix’ style coat…just, tasty.
Because he’s the protagonist in a game that allows the player to mould his character there’s not really a great deal to say about the kind of man he is…he’ll be different for each player, obviously. What is known about him is that he’s an ex-SWAT officer and now works as head of security for Sarif Industries . He’s a loner; he likes to rely on himself for answers and solutions; he likes to be in control of his environment and has a severe distrust of authority figures. Past that it’s down to the player to shape his personality. But lets face it, it’s not his personality that I’m interested in. I’m a fan of Adam because he’s hot.
Thanks to his numerous augments, Adam becomes a super-augmented-fighting-machine that could kick anybody’s ass. OK, maybe not the Incredible Hulk, but you get the drift, he’s fucking tough. And weirdly it’s these non-human augments that are a massive part of his appeal. This guy can jump from skyscrapers and land, with some serious style, unharmed. He can punch through walls, flip blades out of his elbows and blow the crap out of everything with what looks like a swish of his coat…he is awesome.
He didn’t ask for this…but he is hot. That’s it.
Vaas Montenegro – Far Cry 3 – Ubisoft
(This guy is a late addition to my list as I’ve recently started playing Far Cry 3 . But, wow, he really, REALLY deserves a mention.)
All hail the baddest pirate known to the gaming world, Vaas Montenegro.
What a fucked up, psycho, killing-for-fun kinda fiend he is, and oh, how I love him! I know I probably shouldn’t love him, because of the previously mentioned ‘psycho, killing-for-fun’ elements of his personality, but HOW HOT IS HE?! Like really, very, seriously HOT.
Being trapped in the cage at the beginning of the game I was obviously wondering ‘fuck, what’s going on here then?!’ but the more Vaas spoke, the more I started thinking ‘wow, that crazy guy who’s yelling at me is hot’.
It’s evidently clear he’s holding us prisoner and that he’s maybe a little off balance but still I cant help myself fancying him. Is it odd, that I find this absolute nut job hot? Is it because he’s got me looked up in a cage and I’m somehow attracted to the power he holds over me? Nope. Vaas is just hot. He’s muscular but not overbearingly so; he wears his trousers a little low in that way that I like; he has a Mohawk and he’s confident in his ability (OK, it’s the ability to scare the crap out of people…but I like a man with confidence). And then there’s that voice…that gorgeous voice… He has a hint of a Mexican/Hispanic twang and that ‘crazy’ drawl, and even his curses sound sexy.
Maybe I’m biased because Vaas has all the features I’d love in a guy… *sigh*
I can’t deny I’m a little attracted to his brand of ‘crazy’ either, but seeing as I have yet to play the game all the way through I don’t feel able to comment further on his personality. But this part of my article is titled “Just plain hot” and I’m sorry, but Vaas Montenegro is easily one of THE hottest NPCs I’ve EVER come across.
But because he’s the ‘bad guy’, I guess at some point I’ll have to kill him…and that will be a very sad day…I will mourn that crazy, sexy, SOB.
Oh, did I mention he’s hot?
Thank-you for reading about all my gaming loves and crushes…
There may even be one about my girl crushes in the future…you never know!